Gates Opens Gates!
TECHNOLOGY : Imagine starting your personal computer, logging in to your
email and receiving a message from your Great Grandmother who died over 50 years earlier.
Although this sounds like a weird start to a teenage,
techno movie, it will soon be possible with Microsofts newly planned Heavenly Explorer. In
what is set to become the next generation of interdimensional communication facilities,
Heavenly Explorer will link the living to the dead via a high speed satellite
communication system with base units initially established at Microsoft headquarters in
Redmond and the clouds just within the main gates to heaven.
Mr Gates himself was unavailable to comment on the
project but a spokesman reported that "this is the best thing we've done since...
since, gimme a minute, well since our last incredible innovation" Microsoft is
expecting several thousand souls to be signed on within the coming weeks, with email
addresses residing at the msn.heaven.com domain.
Apparently Gates himself is also taking part in
discussions to have the hell.com domain transferred over from its current location within
the Apple Corporation labs to the dark and fiery depths. It is expected that the hell
domain will have many million email addresses added instantaniously , particularly to
enable Microsoft employees to also contact their past relatives.
The move has sparked off some uproar in the psychic
scenes with industry spokesperson, Madam Howsaboutaseance, calling on all psychics to
concentrate their powers of the mind at blocking the communications system as well assist
in putting forward a motion to the American Justice Department to investigate the new
project as being an Anti-Competitive Business Practice that should be included in the
current Anti-Trust case against Microsft. The Justice Department has yet to make comment.
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