Microsoft Cans
Global Domination Plans.
In a shock turn around, Microsoft Corporation has
publicly come forward
and announced it has placed all plans for global domination on hold until
further notice.
The announcement comes just a week after US District
Judge Thomas
Penfield Jackson's big fat monopolistic power who thrives on the ideas and creations of
small companies trying to make a small living decision.
Microsoft spokeman, Dave 'big rich bastard thanks to
Bill' Jones, spoke
earlier this week to a packed toilet cubicle of media representatives saying,
"We believe that right now is probably not the right time to buy out
world governments. We are even thinking of donating those that we
already purchased back to the original owners...our New Zealand deal has
seemed a bit of a dud anyway, we still can't work out what was meant
by sheep having additional talents."
The move has sparked a speal of "just trying to
get out of" cries from
other software giants with Netscape announcing that Microsoft have made
the about turn as a part of a secret deal with the Deptartment of Justice to
avoid having to make payouts, cut up the "largeness of the company" or
release Windows source code as potential outcomes from the "monopoly"
ruling. "It simply a smoke screen.", calims one Netscape representative,
"You wait...give it another 6 months and they'll be back to normal, a
government here, another there, until finally every child born in any country
in the world will have to be tatooed with "Microsoft Office Family
Member"....you'll see..."
Microsoft have denied the claim insessently.
"Why would we brand a
poor baby with 'Microsoft Office Family Member'? We'd wait at least
until they had the ability to touch type...maybe 3 or 4. "
.
.
© Copyright 1999, XZAKT Media. Disclaimer |
