MS Announces Office Virus Wizard!
TECHNOLOGY : With the onset of the now renound Melissa Virus attacking
computer systems across the globe over the last week, Microsoft has taken the
opportunity to announce its latest service pack additions for its Office 97 and Office
2000 products.
As a part of the ongoing services and features provided by Microsoft for its ever popular
Office products, this latest service pack is said to also inlcude the "Tell A
Friend" Virus Wizard, a fully featured wizard utility, similar to that of the Chart
Wizard, the Fax Wizard and the highly utilised Make My PC Hang Wizard. The long awaited
utility has been reported by sources to make the process of creating a fully functional
macro virus, destrcutive or friendly, as simple as a few mouse clicks.
CEO, Bill Gates, has been reported to view the new addition as, "..the next step in
resolving macro viruses..". "Mr Gates is in full agreement with the rest of the
board", claim sources, "that by enabling such a utility to be open to the
average person, people will be less inclined to create macro viruses as it will be a
'feature'. On top of that it should make the whole idea of creating a macro virus boring
to the criminal mind and thus lessen the problem."
The tools for creating a virus have existed in most Microsoft products for quite some time
but with its newly created ALE technology (Application Lacklusting
Enhancements), first featured in Outlook and now being made availble through the new
service pack, Microsoft has been able to further wrap all their products discovered bugs
into fully user customisable features, including the ability to not only destroy your own
data but screw up your next door neighbours as well.
David Smith, the developer of the Melissa Virus, although currently in custody and
potentially facing imprisonment, has apparently claimed in his statement to police that he
was actually a part of the beta testing of the new service pack. Microsoft has failed to
comment on this claim and proceedings to convict David Smith are continuing. .
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